Ooh, Spooky!

Saturday morning I got up early (for me) around 8:30 AM. We got none of the snow that was predicted for us. Louisville has some sort of snow protective bubble over it, causing even the largest of storms to go around it. I was so disappointed. I was all prepared to spend the weekend snuggled up in the house with the boys eating Cheetos, working jigsaw puzzles and watching CSI.

Anyway, my bedroom is a loft on the second floor. It is a long narrow room that is cold in the winter and hot in summer, but I really love the space. My second favorite part of the day is when I get out of bed into my chilly room and walk down the stairs. It is a weird sensation, the stairwell is cold until I reach the 5th step from the bottom and suddenly the temperature goes from 60 degrees to 80 degrees. (My favorite part of the day is when I come home from work and I read the note the dog sitter left about what the boys did while I was away.) This is what the stairwell looks like without and with lights.

Pasha will not go up these stairs, so after I come down I sit on the couch and talk to Pasha for a while about what he did while I was asleep. This morning while I was sitting there, I felt a cold gust of wind pass over me. The door upstairs was shut, all the windows closed, the heater was not blowing. I do not what it was but it was not scary. So a few minutes later I took this picture of Pasha and see the orb?

Humorless Shrew

I don’t consider myself funny, but I do think that I am rather amusing. I can engage in witty repartee with the best of them. So when today it occurred to me that some among my acquaintances question whether I have sense of humor, I was surprised. People laugh quite bit when I am around. I am amusing in the extreme!

However, I can acknowledge that I do not get “boy” humor at all. I do not find jokes about bodily functions or gay jokes all that funny. I do not like to make fun of others; I much prefer to make jokes at my expense. Often in a group of laughing men, the joke must be explained to me. I am use to being teased by those who share my sense of humor and can give and take easily. However, I have no idea how to respond to teasing by what seem to me as mean spirited men.

I am quite upset about this. I do not like how this makes me an outsider. I do not want to seem like a dull dog, I just do not know how to participate.

Oh, fuck them. I am funny goddamn it.

Valentine’s Day Traumas

Everyone has Valentine’s Day horror stories and the topic seems to be on everyone’s mind these days. It has been nearly a decade since I last celebrated the occasion, my two previous boyfriends being of the selfish jackass variety. Of course, I have to hand it The Poltroon for his absurd reason for not getting me anything for Valentine’s Day. You see he believed that he should not be forced by society (or the man) into expressing any sort of emotion in regards to another human being. He believed that the one time he picked up some old clothes at a thrift shop for a quilt I was creating was tantamount to a declaration of love and much more telling than having to spend more than $12 for some flowers. After such a display of affection why should he be forced to celebrate Valentine’s Day in addition.

While my exes managed to weasel out of the holiday, I do believe that my friend Emmy received the worst Valentine’s Day gift. Her ex could compete admirably with mine for the title of Louisville Most Selfish Bachelor. She received a dildo that he had made himself in exact replicate of himself. Any man who thinks this is a good idea, it is not. It is not romantic. It is egotistical in the extreme.

Cyrano believes that Valentine’s Day is just about women. The girl’s only obligation is to act very grateful for anything the guy does and then give him a blow job.

I like the idea of Valentine’s Day. I think it is nice idea to want to take a day out of your life to celebrate your relationship. Relationships need work. It is not about buying things, but acknowledging your relationships. However, if your girlfriend has ever had to suffer the indignity of being the only women in an office not to receive flowers, you better send some freakin’ flowers.

My favorite Valentine’s Day was about three years ago, before The Poltroon. It was a Saturday and I spent the day alone with my boys. I made some brownies and drank a bottle of red wine. It was so good.

As for this year we will just have to wait and see, what the day brings.

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