How I spent my weekend

A breakdown of how I spent my waking hours this weekend. Do you remember the days when two of these items would have been unthinkable?

I am feeling so much better this week. Truck got really sick on Monday and had to have doggy surgery. It seems he swallowed a bone whole. He is at home and acting as though nothing happened. Last night I caught him sitting on one of the dinning room chairs waiting to be served dinner, so I think he will be fine.

I did cry when a lady at work said "You should go home and be with him, he is the closest thing you have to a family."

ADDITION: Cyrano insists that share the whole story even though I think it is gross. Not only did Truck eat a bone whole, they also found my missing $48 La Perla panties that the BF has not even seen yet in his tummy. Anyway, they gave me panties back in a plastic bag. I have no idea why, I certainly would never wear them now. But this morning when I was in the shower some unknown dog, knocked over the trash can and the panties are missing again

New Internet Friend

I have meaning to tell you all about my new internet friend, even though I have been too miserable to keep up correspondence. Go visit her site and leave comments, so she knows you like her.

The Dinner Party

I really miss cooking. I have been spending a lot time this week at Epicurious, but it seems like such a waste of time to spend hours making something only to eat it by myself or to give most of it to the boys. If I throw a dinner party will you come? Here is what I will be serving.

Pancetta Crisps with Goat Cheese and Pear
Shrimp Cornets
Wild Mushroom Pate

Spinach, Pear and Walnut Salad with a Riesling Dressing

Beef Tenderloin with Port-Balsamic Sauce
Horseradish Mashed Potatoes
Asparagus a la Sarahspace

Pear and Almond Tart

If you stay the night I will serve the following for Brunch. I do not have a spare bedroom, so you have to sleep on Truck’s couch or Pasha’s couch. I would take Pasha’s if I were you.

Bacon, Avocado, and Cheese Omelets
Sour Cream Coffee Cake with Pears and Pecans
Potatoes Roasted with Rosemary and Sea Salt
Caleb’s Breakfast Polenta
Bloody Mary’s and Mimosas

I have been having one of depression spells, not my normal permanently depressed state, but “I want to lay in bed curled up in a ball for a week” depressed. Fortunately, I have not been at my new job long enough to take a few days and disappear so I have been pretending to work and showing up at yoga. But I have not had interest in anything else. The house is a sty and the boys are in heaven. BTW, Truck got sick last night and threw up on me when I was asleep. I did clean that up, but I thought about just going to sleep on the couch. I have not been blogging because I am just a ball of self-pity and that is not real interesting.

Here are my current obsessions:

Don't worry this will pass when the drugs kick in. Drugs are your friend.

Ethical Question

Remember the old man who died across the street? Well, he received the paper daily and it has been piling up in his driveway. I like to read the paper. Would it be wrong of me to steal a dead man’s newspaper?

Hate Mail

I have been getting some hate mail of late. What I find most distressing about the whole thing is the banality of the letter. Let’s take a look.

I personally think that you are full of shit.

An anonymous person thinks that I am full of shit! Holy fuck, I must now re-examine my entire existence. Does my life hold no truth or meaning? Or perhaps my fan just lacks the acuity to express the fault they find with my personality and must rely on hackneyed phrases.

I don't believe anything you post on this preprosterous website.

I don’t claim to have any great skill with spelling or grammar, but I do at least run everything through the spell check in Word. I believe the word you are looking for is preposterous: (adj.) Contrary to nature, reason, or common sense; absurd. You are obviously are lacking some basic judgment skills, so the fact you do not believe anything I post on my preposterous website holds little value. I do have to give you some credit, I think preposterous is an excellent adjective for my blog. Well done, you are not completely lacking brain activity.

You are a self absorbed twit.

Hmmmmmmmm. This sounds awfully familiar to me. Could it be because it is a phrase that I commonly use? I could give you points for using my own words to against me, but it just does not really work. I may be self-absorbed, but I am not really a twit. Bitch, yes. Twit, no. I think that once again you are using a phrase that has been made a bit trite by my over use and simply repeating it, instead of thinking of your own clever insult.

You have zero taste in clothing.

This is a known fact. Too many years of catholic school left me with no fashion sense. But I must commend you on your keen powers of observation. Some people miss the fact I dress like a homeless zookeeper.

I don't know how to tell you this, but you are FAT!!!

After giving me such a thrashing over my horrible personality, I see you have moved on to attacking my physical appearance. Now, this did bother me a little bit, but only because I am not fat. I do weigh more than I like, but if I weighed 85 pounds I would still think I weighed too much. Yet again that is not really the point. Calling someone fat is lazy. It is like making fun of someone’s nose. Oh, but wait a minute…..

You think your "tits" are so great, no one can get past that honker on your face to even notice your tits.

I do think my tits are great. I could have three noses and men would still notice my tits. Not so much because of the greatness of my tits, but because men are like that. I did not see that attack on my nose coming.

If I were you, I would go home with my dog and never expose the public to my homliness again!

I do not think you like me very much. And the word is homeliness. My goodness, how will I ever recover from such an attack of my person and character?

I am very tired and have been very busy, but I am have been taking notes to keep you informed. I am sure none of this will make sense, but I’ll try to expand later.

I got some really great gifts for my birthday. Cyrano provided me with hours of entertainment despite not buying me any porn. The BF gave me a gift that I love, when I find my camera I will take a picture for you. My parents are sending me on vacation.

I drove from Cincinnati to Louisville with my parking brake on.

Truck and Pasha both got A+ at the dog farm. Truck apparently had a really good time. Last night, he kept humping in his sleep.

I really want a new car

I think Aisha Tyler is a media whore.

The guy at the liquor store carded me and told me that I look 25. We are dating now.

HDTV is bullshit. It didn’t look any different to me.

Happy Birthday to me!

Did I mention that I killed someone the other day?

Cyrano says that it is manslaughter at the most, so not to worry. Technically, I do not believe I am criminally or legally responsible, perhaps morally. And she might not even be dead; I did not stick around to find out. Since the whole thing was caught on camera and the police have not come to door, I think I am in the clear.

Just before I left work, I went pee. It is a long drive home. A woman walks in with her cell phone, and goes into the stall starts to pee and starts talking on her phone. I cannot think that Emily Post would approve of such behavior.

With the anniversary of my birth approaching, I have been doing a bit of self-reflection. Always a bad thing. I have been relatively content in life for the past few months, but I have very little in my life with which to be satisfied. Sure I have a job that does not care if I am on time, a boyfriend who acknowledges my existence daily, dogs who bully me less than they use to, 2.5 friends, running water and $12 in my savings account. What more could a modern girl want?

A Reason I Love My New Job

We are supposed to be at work at 8:30 AM everyday.

But today

I arrived at 9:20
My boss arrived at 9:30
At 9:55, 2 guys are still not here.