While for the most part I am over the poltroon, I still miss him. I think that I need to write about him finally so that I can move on. He did not like me to write about him, because I think he was afraid that I would reveal his sex secrets. I am not sure why it mattered, his last girlfriend described their sex life on a billboard on I-65. Besides he was rather conventional, truth be told, except for that one really freaky thing. Anyway, so why is he a coward? Basically we got into a political debate (fight) one night at the Applebees (the nicest restaurant he ever took me) and he got mad at me and then refused to ever talk to me again. “I just can’t talk to you.” It was our first and only fight. Only 12-year olds and he think that just never calling is an acceptable way to end a relationship. I loved him and he did not even like me enough to even talk to me. I have left out the part of the story that is really awful.

So when I start to miss him, I try to remind myself what a selfish asshole he is. This list is just a sampling.

• When I got fired, he did not offer to take me out and try to make me feel better. He invited me over to his house to watch him wash his car.


• In the 16+ months that we dated, he gave me 3 compliments. “Why do you look so nice?”, “You are the only girl in here who’s not ugly.” and a “You look nice” with no backhand.


• He lived about 35 minutes from me and he came to my end of town 4 times while we were together. Now it is true that I rarely invited him over, but the 4 times he did come to my house he complained for weeks afterward about how much he hated my part of town and how inconvenient it was to drive all that way.


• He told me one night that I should never have children because I would be a horrible mother.


• When I broke my elbow and I called him from the emergency room hoping that he would come and sit with me so I wouldn’t have to be alone. But he asked “Well, what do you want me to do about it? I am working on the ’84 (one of his cars).” So, I sat in that ER alone and in pain for hours.

I just want to forget him. I just want to make it through a day and not want him back.