I have been getting some hate mail of late. What I find most distressing about the whole thing is the banality of the letter. Let’s take a look.

I personally think that you are full of shit.

An anonymous person thinks that I am full of shit! Holy fuck, I must now re-examine my entire existence. Does my life hold no truth or meaning? Or perhaps my fan just lacks the acuity to express the fault they find with my personality and must rely on hackneyed phrases.

I don't believe anything you post on this preprosterous website.

I don’t claim to have any great skill with spelling or grammar, but I do at least run everything through the spell check in Word. I believe the word you are looking for is preposterous: (adj.) Contrary to nature, reason, or common sense; absurd. You are obviously are lacking some basic judgment skills, so the fact you do not believe anything I post on my preposterous website holds little value. I do have to give you some credit, I think preposterous is an excellent adjective for my blog. Well done, you are not completely lacking brain activity.

You are a self absorbed twit.

Hmmmmmmmm. This sounds awfully familiar to me. Could it be because it is a phrase that I commonly use? I could give you points for using my own words to against me, but it just does not really work. I may be self-absorbed, but I am not really a twit. Bitch, yes. Twit, no. I think that once again you are using a phrase that has been made a bit trite by my over use and simply repeating it, instead of thinking of your own clever insult.

You have zero taste in clothing.

This is a known fact. Too many years of catholic school left me with no fashion sense. But I must commend you on your keen powers of observation. Some people miss the fact I dress like a homeless zookeeper.

I don't know how to tell you this, but you are FAT!!!

After giving me such a thrashing over my horrible personality, I see you have moved on to attacking my physical appearance. Now, this did bother me a little bit, but only because I am not fat. I do weigh more than I like, but if I weighed 85 pounds I would still think I weighed too much. Yet again that is not really the point. Calling someone fat is lazy. It is like making fun of someone’s nose. Oh, but wait a minute…..

You think your "tits" are so great, no one can get past that honker on your face to even notice your tits.

I do think my tits are great. I could have three noses and men would still notice my tits. Not so much because of the greatness of my tits, but because men are like that. I did not see that attack on my nose coming.

If I were you, I would go home with my dog and never expose the public to my homliness again!

I do not think you like me very much. And the word is homeliness. My goodness, how will I ever recover from such an attack of my person and character?

Some people just have way too much time on their hands. And why hide? Fricking cowards.

Wow, don't people know that if you are worth their time to insult, then they don't actually hate you?

All the same, it pisses me off!

I think you are awesome. And i am not anonymous.

I can honestly say I've never noticed your nose.

This person either has a very small penis or a very big vagina. Either way, they're compensating for something very wrong. I mean, who the fuck makes fun of someone's nose?

Whoever this person is, you know them in real life.

See this is just another example as to why I think people suck. Why are there people out there who feel the need to belittle others? If they don't like your site why the hell are they on it. It frustrates me. I'm sure you have nice tits, by the way.

Wow, was this all from one person? What is this person's problem? Sheesh! And how do they know what you look like? Or do they? I suppose I'm naive, but I cannot believe somebody would actually stoop to this level...

If you look at the rants and raves on Criags List, or the chat threads, you will see there is a lot of crazy, unfunny agnst going around. I am sorry some of it was directed at you.

Who could be so bold as to sign their letter anonymous? If all of us had such balls, we'd be at home hiding underneath our beds with a pacifier. If only...

Sarah, you rock.

How sweet to receive such a beautiful assessment of you and your tits site just in time for Valentine's Day.

Hi, Your column makes me for to laugh.

Hi there

I just found your website. I think you are hilarious! And I mean that in a good way (if there is a bad way??). Anyway, you write very well. Perhaps when you get bored and have absolutely nothing to do, you should write a book.

I would read it!

Well, have a good one!

- Glenn