This weekend, I had a date. I know! 2 weekends in a row of men, a sure sign of the approaching apocalypse. This boy man even picked me up at my house and drove. I believe the last date I went on where the boy came to my house and drove was 13 years ago with “The One”. Good precedent I think, but that meant I had to clean the house. My house looks like a pottery barn that has been converted into a kennel. It is not uncommon to find muddy paw prints on what remains of the couch, the coffee table, or the walls. It is simply not suitable for human company.

Well instead of cleaning up my place like I should have, I opted to sleep for 16 hours on Friday night and spend all day Saturday shopping. I figured instead of doing laundry I could just buy something new to wear. I was looking for something that I could wear my black bra with since it “lifts AND separates” but could find nothing. It was 5:30 pm when I decided to give up and just wear something I already owned. My date was coming at 7:30, the house was still a sty and I had to do laundry. I was able to get the living room, dining room, and bathroom presentable, but not exactly clean. All other rooms I just shut the door. I had hoped to be able to get to the bedroom, just to keep my options open, but that was just not possible. Besides this is Louisville, if you invite a boy to spend the night on the first date you are a whore. My lack of housekeeping skills is a virtue, it keeps me from being a whore.

By 7:25, I was ready to go except for my jeans which were still in the dryer. I had just started cleaning the kitchen when I heard a knock at the door followed by deafening barking, which thankfully covered my exclamation of “Fuck” for I had no pants on. I found a towel, wrapped it around my waist, grabbed the hounds and opened the door. I am still amazed that I did not drop the towel.

The boy man is a gentleman, unlike most of them men I date who would have had that towel off me in 3 minutes, he pretended not to notice or be annoyed that I was not ready. He pretended not notice that my kitchen floor is covered in mud. He pretended not to notice that Truck sat in front of me staring at him maliciously. It could have been worse.

Alright, I'll bite. Who would take that long to get that towel off of you sexy? ;)

Hey kiddo! Did Truck like him? :)