Did the dress work out?
No, it made me look like a cow.
Perhaps, you need a bigger size
It is a pink dress with brown splotches on it!
Well, it comes in black with white spots, too.

Who are you?
I'm Sarahspace.
Oh, that explains it.

How much is the collar in the case?
$69.95
Can he try it on?
Isn’t he the most handsome dog ever seen?
His is very good looking dog.
Can you order one for Pasha too?
Of course. Have you seen the matching leads and tags?

Why I am only attracted to women who look like me?
Do you really want me to answer that?

1:00 pm – Can we push back brunch I just woke up?
2:30 pm – Where are you?
Oh, I went back to sleep.

It is beginning to look like I’m going to have to move back to Texas to get laid.

Are you offering to be my sugar momma?
Sure

How was the date?
He seems like a nice guy.
That’s too bad.
Why does everyone keep saying that?
Because you’re a jerk. (my mom)

Did your date ask the sugar momma question? Because that would have been very interesting.

And I'm sure that your mom meant that you were a jerk, only in the nicest of ways that mothers can.

Who are you?
I'm Sarahspace.
Oh, that explains it.

You say that like it's a *bad* thing...

Glad to know that he seems like a nice guy.