The good news was this year no one made any fat comments, either because I am not fat or they have found a new topic to torment me with: Grandchildren. I have 2 cousins with pregnant wives, so Christmas day was filled with baby talk which of course led to questions and comments about my age and lack of social life. The highlight of evening was when my mother received a t-shirt from my aunt that said “Let me get this straight, My grandchild is a dog?” I did not find this funny.

Since I was going to be home for Christmas, my aunt chose to throw a combined baby shower for the pregnant cousins while I was home. I bought my gifts on-line to avoid having to actually go into a Babies-R-Us, but my mom wanted me to go with her to buy her gifts. I discovered that I hate pregnant women even more than I hate thin women. Mom went crazy buying stuff while making snide comments that this maybe her only chance to buy baby stuff. It was all I could do not to burst into tears when confronted with baby blankets and little baby jumpsuits. By the time we left, I was missing the fat comments.

The shower was at 1 this afternoon. I was out until 4 am last night and a little hung-over. I just started my period and had terrible cramps. I was covered in rug burns in places that can’t explain and was having a hard time walking. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a goddamn baby shower, I just wanted to drive home and get my dogs. So I threw a hissy-fit about how I did not want to go watch some fat cows who hate me open up baby stuff while everyone makes nasty comments about me. This finally made mom that she was being a bitch about the baby thing and told me that she would tell everyone I was not feeling well and I wanted to go home.

It sucked, but I did get season 1 & 2 of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

There you are. I was having withdrawls.

There there. Your aunt sounds awful. I suggest next Christmas you get your mum a t shirt saying 'my sister is a vicious bitch', and see how she laughs about it?