Remember how I created a checklist of things to do before I leave in the morning so that the dog sitter would not think I was a perverted slob? Well, it’s over she knows. Over the weekend, I received a lovely gift bag from a friend. It included spicy scented candles, a book on how to prepare for the Revolution, a yoga dvd for better sex (I think that was a hint) and the classic Christmas gift, Black Gangbangers 2.

[Ed. Note: Some of you know how I abhor racial stereotyping often found in pornography. However, Black Gangbangers 2 is a triumph of modern cinematic pornography. The talent of the filmmakers was evident in the original, Black Gangbangers, but their genius was not revealed until the release of the sequel. I think that everyone can agree that the stylistic brilliance and depth of subject matter in this film makes it a masterpiece, the only reason this film did not win ‘Best Picture’ is the prudery of the American moviegoer. This achievement in adult filmmaking has to be celebrated for it artistry, while objecting to the use of the racial stereotyping for purely prurient purposes. Really, no pornography collection is complete without this classic.]

I lefted the bag on my kitchen table, but had to work yesterday and did have a chance to put away my gifts. The table is usually clear as I use it to leave notes for the dog sitter and she leaves a daily report of how the dogs behaved. Today when I came home I found this note:

The boys were very good. They pottied and played with dog next door. Truck didn’t jump today.

Welcome to the Club. Drop your drawers, pull up a chair, and pop in the DVD. Don't worry, the members of the Pervert Club don't bite...unless asked.

That's such a great story. I've cast Ms. Hathaway in the role of your dogsitter, it makes it even better.

(if this isn't the case, don't spoil the fantasy for me.)

Why was she looking in the bag anyway?

FUCKING GREAT. I bet you she watched the dvd. Look around for camera's ;)