This week I have been interviewing landscapers to do something with my front yard and maybe build a dog wonderland in the back. I have met with a jackass landscape architect who was frightened by the boys, a pompous creep who told me that he does use "any of them mexicans", an organic landscaper who praised my desire for a grass-free yard, a nice lady who bored me, and a really hot guy who took off his shirt. Guess who I am hiring?