"You were such a beautiful girl before you started putting on weight." *

"Well, I guess that you have just accepted that your house will never be clean with those dogs."

"Mom, I am sure he did not throw up on you on purpose."
"It is a miracle, your car is actually clean. Oh, no there is some dog hair on the back of dad's seat."

"He was not trying to bite you. If wanted to bite you he would have, Truck does not miss. He was just telling you to be nicer to me."

*I am sure y'all think I am huge, but I feel the need to inform you, I am 5'6" and weigh 138 pounds. Is it any wonder I have a problem with food?