Continuing in the theme of the day: Behave like a total boor. Tonight, I discovered it is still possible to buy one's way into heaven.

I am not the religious sort, but I heard that you could get your pets blessed by priest. While I am willing to take my chances with eternal damnation, but I am not willing to risk my boys' fate. So I called up the local church and asked if could set something up and the lady told me to come over after mass on Thursday night.

I put the boys on their leads and we walked on over. I was even on time and there were a few of those people who that hang out after mass to kiss up to the priest. Truck was in one his rare bad moods and I was a little concerned with so many people about. I gave Pasha to one of ass-kissers to hold onto so I could focus on keeping Truck under control. The priest, Father John, was this cool guy who looked like Ice Cube. He blessed Pasha and Pasha gave him a kiss in return. Truck was not happy. My mom may be right; Truck may be a devil dog. I figure it is probably bad karma if your dog bites a priest, so I tightened Truck's head collar and wrestled him on to his side, then sat on him to hold him still. I believe that the priest was a little frightened, but he was able to bless Truck without being bitten and when the Holy Water touched Truck, his skin did not burn. Good sign.

Afterwards, while chatting with the ass-kissers and Father John. Someone one wanted to know why it was so important to me to have my dogs blessed. I told them how every night I tell the boys that I love them no matter what they do and that all dogs go heaven. So I wanted to make sure that my dogs had extra points in heaven. They thought I was joking, I wasn't. When one of the ass-kissers had the nerve to say to me "Dogs can't go to heaven." After giving him a scathing look, I replied "The Franciscans are not so sure about that." The ass-kisser looked to Father John to settle the matter, who is a Jesuit. Jesuits can argue anything suit their own purposes. He was very diplomatic about the whole discussion, until I finally asked "Will $500 get my dogs in heaven?" Suddenly, Father John was sounding very much like a Franciscan.